How to find your life values and true happiness?

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

─ Mahatma Gandhi

Do you know a person who's been really successful in life, but still feels unhappy (unsatisfied)? Or by any chance, are you one of those people? I hope not. But, if the answer to any of the questions is yes, do you know why this happens? How could a person be really successful in life, and still feel miserable? The answer lies within their life values which most of the people are not even aware of, particularly, in these days which people get so influenced and directed by their social interactions and comparisons. For instance, a person could see the other people's achievements and mostly blindly says (in his mind) that I want to have the same thing. He doesn't notice that it’s a goal set by other people which is not aligned with his own life values. In this case, after the achievement of these fictitious and superficial goals, he won't feel satisfied at all.

What are your life values anyway? l would say that the life values are the strongest beliefs that shape your entire life and behaviors. They act like a powerful internal system which filter your actions and behaviors all the time. You could read about the life experiences in childhood and the way that your subconscious mind interpret them to shape your internal system here. It should be obvious that life values are so different than your life goals because life values are a very strong internal belief system which has been shaped within you years ago, while your goals are targets which you define for your future usually according to your external environment. 

The most important thing is that your goals must be defined by yourself and they must be in line with your values. You have to avoid setting up your goals based on the social influences or the manipulation of others as much as possible. Life is too short, why do want to waste it by blindly copying the other ones' goals & dreams?! That might be a wrong direction for you! Listen to your heart. What do you want? What are your own dreams? What do you count as your core life values? 

Your happiness is defined in your mind, not anywhere else. So, please look no further! To give you a clear way to start finding your core life values, here is a list of the most common values which could be yours as well:

1. Love

2. Health 

3. Financial Security

4. Comfort

5. Passion

6. Success

7. Adventure

8. Contribution

9. Fun

10. Freedom

11. Growth

12. Power

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The list is open-ended which means you are not restricted to the above values, and can have your owns to add them to the above list. Please sit down and think about these life values. This could consequently lead into your true internal happiness. Which one of the values seem the most important one to you? What is the second one? What's the next one? Compare them one by one to give them orders from 1 to 10. Think about them deeply based on your true internal beliefs. Which signals you receive from your brain when you think about any of them? 

When you finish with your list of values, you get a clear picture of why your life is at the current stage and how your life values are shaping your actions, behaviors and your future. The first 4 to 5 values of your list usually shape your entire life and destiny because they are your core values for life and dominate the other ones. But, what if your life values are not in line with your goals? In that case, you have to modify either of them. However, my experience says that it's much better and easier to change (modify) your goals based on your life values. The reason is that your life values are rooted inside your internal system and fulfilling them give you a sense of true pleasure. On the other hand, goals could easily be shaped and manipulated by the society, culture, traditions, etc. On top of that you might not feel happy (satisfied) after achieving your goals. So, which one are you willing to sacrifice? It’s your choice.

In a nut shell, recognize your core life values, take care of them and nurture them by moving along the way to fulfill them. That is your way to true happiness :)