How to kill negativity with the power of your focus?

Do you know anyone around you who often says “I always mess things up”, “this is always happening to me”, “I never get a break” or “every time I get the worst”? Probably you know a lot of people who say: all the bad things happen to me. I hope you are not one of those people by the way. Do you even believe in such thing that all the things could go wrong for you or a particular person? There’s actually a theory or law named “Murphy’s law” that, in a nut shell, says things could always go wrong. But, is that really true? Let’s dig in.

I want to link this subject with the topic of our last article about the power of focus. In order to better feel the power of focus in your life, I will give you a couple of examples. Have you ever noticed that when you bought a car or bike or whatever, you suddenly started to see the same (or similar) thing all over you? Do you think they were already around you? You bet they were. The only difference is that you were not paying attention to them before, because you didn’t think about them or better to say you were not focusing on them. But, suddenly your mind started to think that “hey! This guy looks like me or has the exact same thing as mine”, and your mind began to pay more attention to it.

A great example given by Tony Robbins is that, he once asked his audiences to look for the red stuff in the room and then asked them to close their eyes and guess all the brown stuff in the room. The answer of the test is quite obvious; most of the people couldn’t name anything in the other color (unless they were well familiar with the environment). This is a very interesting example that proves us that our mind always looks for the things that we ask for. Think about it. Your mind has a capacity and it can’t consider all the data at the same time, so it needs to selectively filter most of the stuff out and just focus on certain things in its desired areas.

Let’s consider an example of a party. There are a dozens of people in the party. It’s very crowded. A couple of people have gathered up in each corner and are chitchatting. Let’s say that you run into the first group and join them the entire party. The whole time they are talking about the worst things that have ever happened to any of them. One of them described how he was in a terrible car accident. The other was telling how she lost her husband. The other one was talking about a horror story of a murder in their neighborhood. So, what was your impression of the party when you left there? How do you judge the atmosphere of the party? Most likely, you would describe it as a sad gathering. On the other hand, your friend also came to the party. But, she joined a second group of people in the party that were always joking, laughing and dancing. What would be your friend’s impression of the party? Most likely, she would say: it was an amazing party! Then, which one is right? The first person or the second one? Was the party sad or amazing? The answer is both of them are right! They just took different frames of the party. They didn’t see the whole picture. They just focused on a particular area of the party. Negative, Positive or Neutral stuff are always all around us at any moment of our lives, it is just us who define what to focus on.

Nowadays, when we talk about positivity, some people start thinking that positivity does not exist in the real world or it’s just BS! Most of this people think that you have to deal with the hard face of life in order to progress and make a good life. Of course, it is true that you have to deal with the realities in life! I don’t think that none of the people believing and practicing positivity close their eyes on the real challenges in their lives. They have just achieved the art of focusing on the bright sides of the life at any moment of their lives. That could surely make them happier and lift them up to deal with the daily challenges much better than the other people.

In the reality, what are the chances of stuff happening? I mean the simplest stuff in the daily life of people such as facing a red traffic light. I bet you know a lot of people that say, I always get into the red light! Tell me what are the chances of all stuff happening in life? Not just this simple example, it could be extended to almost anything above our control. Isn’t it 50-50? It should be because otherwise it doesn’t make any sense. The only thing different is your frame of life that you’re looking into. When you turn into the green light, you won’t notice it. You don’t say: hey how lucky I was to get the green light exactly at the moment. But, you focus on the other 50% of stuff in your life such as heading to a red light and you magnify it. I hope you realize that this simple example could easily be extended to any other aspect of your life. That is the problem that some people even try to expand it to say I always get this, I always get that. That is called negativity my friends. Try to not use absolute adjectives for things happening in your life. Open your eyes to see that there are opportunities and possibilities in life. Look at the possibilities from different frames and angles to see the other half as well.

So, it all ends with what you’re focusing on. Kill the negativity inside you to allow the positivity blossoms.